We've been through this before, and we'll go through it again.
After 31 years on this ball of mud, the news will always provide for me something about which to laugh or scream.
Today, we have the continuing adventures of FEMA fund investigations. The catch here being, that it's not so much a matter of FEMA misusing funds, but of FEMA not quite working hard enough to make certain that the relief went to actual hurricane victims.
Now, I'm not known for my easy-going attitude toward Federal Agencies. As a rule, when it comes to investigations, I think an "investigation" is a tongue bath. I want a fucking interrogation. I want the board of FEMA tied to chairs, with bright lights in their faces, a good cop, a bad cop, and the threat of villagers with torches waiting just outsid ethe door. In this case though, I have to sympathize with the bastards. Can you imagine organizing the relief ATM cards for that many people?
"Ummm, yeah, I, like, totally lost my house, and, ummm, like, my dog, Buffy in, uhhh, Hurricane Karakatoa." -Times eleventy-skillion.
That much, at the least, was no mean feat on the part of FEMA.
But, if I may, I'd like to revisit the first & second paragraphs, one at a time.
1) "Debit cards given to people displaced by the storms were improperly used to buy diamond jewelry, a vacation in the Dominican Republic, fireworks, a $200 bottle of champagne at a Hooters in San Antonio and $300 worth of 'Girls Gone Wild' videos, the audit found."
Just let that soak in. Breathe the fumes, just long enough for the room to spin a bit.
All set? OK.
2) "According to the GAO, $1,000 from a FEMA debit card went to a Houston divorce lawyer, $600 was spent in a strip club and $400 was spent on 'adult erotica products,' all of which auditors concluded were 'not necessary to satisfy legitimate disaster needs.'"
Regarding paragraph one, I really only have one question; if you are going to spend $300 on porn, why in the name of JC's Jerusalem Cruisers would you not just buy real porn?
Regarding paragraph 2; I don't know who these investigators are, but $1000 spent on a divorce lawyer, strippers & porn sounds very much like it was well spent on "legitimate disaster needs." Whether it was a matter of pre-empting a disaster, or coping with the aftermath, I do not know, but that shopping list screams "My life is a disaster!"
I say, go get you some titty, bwah!
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In other news, as the site is coming along, I'm trying to move specific sections forward, to facilitate moving the whole bastard into the realm of Being Seen By The General Public. So now, kiddies, I put this to you; visit this page in order to be first in line to do something uttery pointless (most Americans would pay good money for that... but only if it might kill them).
Th.at is all. You may go now
