You love pizza, right? you love it so much that you'll take a bite while it's still too hot, burn the inside of your mouth, and keep going, because it's so good.
You know you do.
Sometimes you even wonder why in the fuck tomato sauce gets so fucking hot.
I say this is a legitimate question. Tomato sauce gets hot in ways that seem unnatural. How the fuck could it possibly be storing & radiating such obscene tempuratures?
Let's carry the question a step further, and ask; if we accept that this property exists, what would the result be of a large pot of tomato sauce, so hot that it's boiling from the bottom -in a menacing, lava-esque fashion- should one of it's larger spatters land on human flesh?
Well I'm glad you asked, because I can tell you. I was making pasta sauce this evening, for Dago Night (the wife & I were having Ayize & TomTheNeighbour over to watch the series finale of the Sopranos). The result is second degree burns, leaving red, weeping blisters on the forearm. That's what.
And, just for the record, I have never been a Sopranos fan, but The Wife & Ayize love the show. I figured it was worth catching the final episode, in a group (I never thought it was a bad show). I was wrong. It was not worth watching in a group, or alone, or at all. It sucked like our new vacuum: Loud & Hard.
It was a vile heap of sentimental shit, wrapped in a blanket of manipulative pseudo-depth.
We're cancelling HBO.
(you think I'm kidding...)
