My wife is on the cigarette wagon. This means that in the evenings I go outside to smoke on the steps, which face the street, and lead to the upsatirs neighbours.
One of these upstairs neighbours is a young woman who faces frequent harrassment from passersby in possession of over-large senses of sexual entitlement (or, at the very least, they appear to, as they take it upon themselves to approach her with various requests when she's smoking on the balcony).
I rather unintentionally terrified her last night. She was headed out, saw my sillhouette at the foot of the stairs, & froze. Once I stood & turned she laughed at her fear of the friendly bloke downstairs, and we discussed the joy of heated patios & cheap drinks.
This has very little to with t-shirts & safe-tumblers though. Terribly sorry. Got a bit carried away in setting the scene.
Back to point.
I was sitting out there this afternoon, wanting to give the apartment some time to breathe before my wife returned home. A young Japanese man, who lives a few doors down came walking past, returning from one of his many, many daily trips to the corner 7-11.
He was wearing a blu t-shirt, with small, dark blue, hand-scrawl font letters which read, "Michael Blew Bubbles."
Michael Blew Bubbles?
I kept staring, because I wasn't certain I was reading it correctly.
Who gives a fuck if someone named Michael was blowing bubbles?
Then I began to wonder if there might be some vague sexual connotation in this, given that the word "blew" was underlined.
But given the assumption that anyone named Bubbles would be female, how would one go about fellating her?
Was Bubbles a tranny?
Bit peculiar.
Bubbles? What the fuck kind of a name is Bubbles? Sounds like the sort of thing you'd name a pet. Like a sugar-glider or a chimpanz...
Oh shit. Oh god. Oh Fuck No...
Like the tumblers in a safe, it all came clicking into place, and there was the treasure in front of me: Michael Jackson's pet chimp was named Bubbles...
I don't think I've been as happy as I was in that one moment for a very long time.
